"Wounded in the line of duty and paralyzed, police officer Brandon Hultink made an amazing journey from despair to hope. "I can still remember the taste of metal in my mouth from the barrel of the gun ..." After the shoot-out that put him in a wheelchair, police officer Brandon Hultink was ready to put an end to it all. In his frank and compelling memoir The Backpack, Hultink tells how he came to the worst moment of his life, and how faith in God and the humility to accept help brought him out of depression, addiction, and the wheelchair and back into successful life. But Hultink's story isn't his alone?it is also the story of the thousands of police officers who struggle with depression and post-traumatic stress. Cops don't do touchy-feely; they stuff every trauma into a metaphorical "backpack" until the burden overwhelms them. Hultink writes unflinchingly of the mental health crisis affecting police officers and offers proposals for improving mental health services for police. An intensely personal story of anguish and survival, The Backpack offers hope to everyone, police and civilian alike, who struggles with depression and pain"--

ForewordChapter 1: Desperation...Chapter 2: The AcademyChapter 3: Getting StartedChapter 4: "Cub"Chapter 5: IdealismChapter 6: The Daily GrindChapter 7: So You Want to Be a Cop?Chapter 8: "Do you remember when?" - Everyone Has a StoryChapter 9: The Face of EvilChapter 10: Family and BackpackingChapter 11: Supervision and CommunityChapter 12: September 25, 2000Chapter 13: Intensive CareChapter 14: Changes and CopingChapter 15: The Black Hole of DepressionChapter 16: My Faith - "Vertical Horizon: He's Everything You Want"Chapter 17: The Conundrum of Pain vs AddictionChapter 18: Finding Meaning within PainChapter 19: Three thingsChapter 20: The "Buddy System"Chapter 21: Redefining StrengthEpilogueResources