This confessional reminiscence is part autobiography, part self-help therapy, and part meditation on love. It is the heart of a journal over three decades of a tormented life. While searching for love, the author, a failed playwright and a loner, leads a secret double life. Publicly he is an English professor, but privately a dissolute and self-abusing racetrack tout trapped in a love/hate addiction to the horses.
Redemption comes, but comes slow and hard.

From an editor:
Dear Mr. Rosenthal,
Many thanks for sending your manuscript, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. We publish only plays and musicals for the theater. You will find your manuscript enclosed.
I did, however, read your manuscript. The title entranced me. Once I started reading I could not put it down. What a beautiful piece of work. I apologize for keeping it for so long. But I did not want to part with it!
Best wishes on your search for a publisher.
Sincerely,
Donna Cozzaglio
Editorial Department
I. E. Clark Publications