Helen Fitzgerald, author of The Grieving Child, has compiled a guide to help readers practically and emotionally grieve the death of loved ones. No one should be left to grieve alone. Even with the help of friends and family, grieving the death of a loved one can be a complex, sometimes overwhelming, process. The Mourning Handbook is written as a companion to those mourners in need of practical and emotional assistance during the trying times before and after the death of a loved one. Having counseled thousands of people who have experienced loss, Helen Fitzgerald gives special attention to the complex emotions that can accompany especially traumatic situations, such as when a loved one has been murdered, when there have been multiple deaths, when a body has not been recovered, or when the mourner has been the inadvertent cause of death. Designed to conform to the special needs of the bereaved, The Mourning Handbook is written and organized in an accessible style punctuated by real stories of people who have experienced every kind of loss. With many subchapters and cross references, it can be consulted for a specific problem or read at length.

ContentsForewordBefore you Begin This BookIntroductionChapter 1 FACTS ABOUT GRIEF1.1 DefinitionsGriefMourning1.2 When Does Grief Begin?1.3 How Long Does Grief Last?Age of the DeceasedCause of DeathNature of RelationshipOther Events in One's LifeSupport SystemsResources One Can CommandOne's Coping SkillsSexual Differences1.4 Does Grief End?1.5 Why Must You Express Your Grief?.Understanding the Grief ProcessChapter 2 PREPARING FOR A DEATH2.1 The DiagnosisOnly the Beginning2.2 Visiting the Dying2.3 Anticipatory GriefHow Anticipatory Grief Can Be HelpfulWhen Is Anticipatory Grief Not Helpful?2.4 When Death ComesWhen Death Occurs in a HospitalWhen Death Occurs at HomeChapter 3 FUNERAL PREPARATIONS3.1 Why Have a Funeral?3.2 Planning the FuneralWhen Cost Is a FactorMaking the Funeral Meaningful3.3 Selecting a Cemetery3.4 BurialWhat Happens to the Body After Burial?Visiting the GraveHow Often Should You Visit the Grave?Thoughts Pertaining to the Headstone3.5 Cremation3.6 Memorial Services3.7 Cenotaphs3.8 Disposing of Personal BelongingsChapter 4 MOURNING YOUR LOSS4.1 Grief Is Unlike Other Life Experiences4.2 Disbelief and ShockSome Ideas on How to Help Yourself4.3 DenialSome Questions to Ask YourselfWays That People Avoid RealityHow to Help Yourself Deal with DenialWhen to Consult with a Professional4.4 Rage and AngerAnger Is a Powerful EmotionDoes One Have to Express Anger?Know Your Anger HistoryWhen Do You Know You Are Getting Angry?Prioritizing the Things That Make You AngryWhen to Seek Professional Help4.5 Guilt or RegretsHow to Help YourselfWhen to Seek Professional Help4.6 DepressionKnow Your Own Symptoms of DepressionWhen to Seek Professional Help4.7 FearsHow to Help YourselfWhen to Be Concerned4.8 PanicHow to Help Yourself4.9 Physical Illness and SymptomsHow to Help YourselfWhen to Be ConcernedChapter 5 CONTINUING REMINDERS OF YOUR LOSS5.1 Public HolidaysChristmasOther Religious HolidaysSecular Holidays5.2 Special Family Occasions5.3 AnniversariesBirthdaysWedding AnniversariesSpecial AnniversariesThe First-Year Anniversary of the Death5.4 Dreams, Nightmares, and "Visions"5.5 Visiting the CemeteryWhen to Be Concerned5.6 Revisiting Favorite Places5.7 Unexpected RemindersChapter 6 DIFFERENCES THAT MATTER6.1 Old Age6.2 Long-term IllnessSuggestions for Those Dealing with AIDS6.3 Sudden Death6.4 Suicide6.5 Murder6.6 Extended Family6.7 Grandparent6.8 Friend6.9 Pet6.10 Sibling6.11 ParentAs an AdultAs a Child6.12 Love Relationship6.13 SpouseThe Loneliness of Widowhood6.14 ChildAbortionGrief as Part of Your LifeChapter 7 COMPLICATED GRIEF7.1 Other Changes in Your LifeDelayed Grief7.2 Unusual Circumstances7.3 Unintentional Acts and Far-Reaching Consequences7.4 Multiple Deaths7.5 Sudden Illness and Death7.6 Violent DeathAccidental DeathSuicideMurder7.7 Questionable Deaths7.8 Shock of Discovery7.9 Hearing the Death News7.10 Witnessing a Death7.11 Notoriety7.12 When the Body Is Not Presentable7.13 When There Is No Body7.14 Secrets Discovered After Death7.15 "Unacceptable" Relationships7.16 Dependent RelationshipsSpouseAdult Child7.17 Conflicted Relationships7.18 Unfinished Business7.19 Substance Abuse7.20 Replacement Child7.21 Unusual Developments7.22 Missing Persons7.23 How to Help YourselfWhen to Be ConcernedChapter 8 UNRESOLVED CHILDHOOD GRIEF AND TRAUMA8.1 What Is Unresolved Childhood Grief?8.2 No Detour Too Long to Avoid a Cemetery8.3 Ten Years of Not Talking About It8.4 The Girl Whose Father Killed Himself8.5 A Not-So-Funny Joke8.6 Problems in the Making8.7 What Is Death-Related Trauma?8.8 Why Review Such Painful Memories?8.9 Where Do You Start?Gathering Information8.10 Finding the Source of Your GriefEarly Death Experience8.11 Other Things to Look For8.12 Restarting the Grief ProcessRecording Your RecollectionsBooksHealing Old WoundsWritingLetter WritingDrawingFuneral Home and Cemetery VisitsSymbolic BurialWhen to Be ConcernedChapter 9 THE ROAD TO RECOVERY9.1 Helping Yourself Through Your GriefDietExerciseRest9.2 You Know You Are Getting Better When...9.3 New RelationshipsWhen Do You Know You Are Ready?Where to StartOn DatingOn Children and DatingHow to Help Your ChildrenOn SexualityOn AIDSWhen a Relationship Breaks UpOn RemarriageChapter 10 A FRIEND IN NEED10.1 Preparing Yourself10.2 When Death Occurs10.3 Funeral Arrangements10.4 Funerals10.5 Emotional HelpTaking Care of Yourself10.6 Things to Avoid10.7 Long-Term Help10.8 Writing a Letter of Condolence10.9 Delivering Death NewsBy TelephoneIn PersonLooking Out for YourselfEpilogueBibliographyGeneral GriefWidowhoodSuicideParent GriefParent Death for Adult ChildChildrenFor the Family When a Member is Seriously IllFor Family and FriendsThe Death of a PetDealing with AngerFor the ProfessionalResourcesFinding Professional HelpSupport GroupsDeath of a ChildSuicideDeath of a SpouseDeath by MurderDeath of a PetIllness with CancerIndex