Hard-hitting divorce lawyer James J. Sexton shares his insights and wisdom to help you reverse-engineer a healthy, fulfilling romantic relationship with How to Stay in Love.With two decades on the front lines of divorce Sexton has seen what makes formerly happy couples fall out of love and "lose the plot" of the story they were writing together. Now he reveals all of the "what-not-to-dos" for couples who want to build-and consistently work to preserve-a lasting, loving relationship. Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about love and marriage, diving straight into the most common issues that often arise from simple communication problems and relationships that develop by "default" instead of design. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned from the mistakes of his clients to help individuals and couples find and preserve lasting connection.Previously published as If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late.

Introduction: Take the Path They Didn't1. What Is the Problem to Which Marriage Is the Solution?2. Storytelling: There's an Arc There, Somewhere3. Hit Send How4. You Can Be Right or You Can Be Happy5. Expectation vs. Reality6. Tight Grips and Loose Arms7. Reading Minds and Accepting Appearances8. Everyone's Fucking the Nanny9. Gratuitous Time-out: And Yes, I Meant Everyone Is Fucking the Nanny10. Married People: Pretend You're Not11. Go Without or Go Elsewhere12. Did You Spend More Time Shopping for Your Car or for Your Spouse?13. Actually, Past Performance Is Indicative of Future Results14. The Five Kinds of Infidelity15. Infidelity Type #3: The Mistake16. It's So Much Easier to Change the Other Person17. Gratuitous Time-out: Lie to Me; Everybody Else Does18. The You, the Me, and the We19. If We Were Designing an Infidelity-Generating Machine, It Would Be Facebook20. One of the Pillars of Marriage Is Sex21. We Know What We Know Until We May Not Want to Know It22. Gratuitous Time-Out: I Love My Job, Except for When I Hate It23. You Never Go to Bed with Just One Person24. Divide and Conquer25. What You're Getting and What You're Giving26. The Myth of the Perfect Parent27. The Divorce Who You Married28. Gratuitous Time-out: The Case of the Shrinking Penis29. Know Yourself30. Intimacy Weaponized, Part I31. Intimacy Weaponized, Part II: Cross-Examination32. Argue Better33. Gut, Heart, and Head34. The Author of Your Story35. Who Are You?36. Gratuitous Time-out: How Not to Let Yourself Be Cross-Examined37. Write a Letter38. Yours, Mine, and Ours: The Financial System That Works Best39. Design, Not Default40. Acceptance: You Have to Love the Bad Parts, Too41. The Secret that Shouldn't Be a Secret: Just Give a ShitAfterword: Cannibals