First Published in 2010. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company.

INTRODUCTION; Part 1 MY CHILDHOOD; Chapter 1 WHAT MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD ME; Chapter 2 MY FAMILY; Chapter 3 THE GOLDEN DAYS OF MY CHILDHOOD; Chapter 4 TEA-GIRLS AND SPINNING-MAIDENS; Chapter 5 MY FIRST SUFFERING; Chapter 6 THE VILLAGE PRIVATE SCHOOL; Chapter 7 MY UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT AT SUICIDE; Part 2 MY SCHOOLDAYS; Chapter 8 MY FIRST SCHOOL; Chapter 9 MORE SCHOOLS AND MORE TROUBLES; Chapter 10 HEADMASTER GRANDMA; Chapter 11 MY FIRST LITERARY ATTEMPT; Chapter 12 PLATONIC LOVE; Chapter 13 A PUBLIC LOVE LETTER; Chapter 14 THE BEGINNING OF MY STRUGGLES; Chapter 15 MY FIRST LOVE; Part 3 MY ARMY LIFE; Chapter 16 JOINING THE ARMY; Chapter 17 COUNTRY GIRLS AND THE TRAIN; Chapter 18 EXPELLED AGAIN; Chapter 19 SERVING IN THE RANKS; Chapter 20 'DOWN WITH LOVE!'; Chapter 21 SOME POINTS ON DISCIPLINE; Chapter 22 SETTING OUT; Chapter 23 AN INCIDENT ON THE ROAD; Chapter 24 NIGHT MARCH; Chapter 25 DEMOBILISATION; Part 4 MY PRISON LIFE AT HOME; Chapter 26 MY HOME-COMING; Chapter 27 MY QUARREL WITH MY MOTHER; Chapter 28 CONFINED BY MY MOTHER; Chapter 29 MY PILGRIMAGE; Chapter 30 BAD NEWS; Chapter 31 SECRET MEETING; Chapter 32 MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT ESCAPE; Chapter 33 SECOND ATTEMPT; Chapter 34 THIRD ATTEMPT; Part 5 MY WANDERING LIFE; Chapter 35 IN PRISON; Chapter 36 OUT OF PRISON; Chapter 37 THE SCHOOLMISTRESS; Chapter 38 UNDER SUSPICION; Chapter 39 THE NIGHT OF TERROR; Chapter 40 MORE TERRORS; Chapter 41 DELIVERANCE;