Gabriel of Urantia asked the question, in the beginning of his struggle with dialysis, "God, why is this happening to me?" Throughout his 8-month dialysis experience, 3 days a week, 4 hours a day, being tied down to a chair while his blood flowed from his body through a machine and back, he realizes-from the people he meets also on dialysis and in the hospitals after post-kidney-transplant-that very bad things happen to very good people. He met young and old alike, tied down to the machines just like he was, and the young people were the hardest for him to resolve in his mind with God and also to try to give them hope. As a minister, he felt obligated to do so.


Being a Pastor of a church (Global Community Communications Alliance-a very social, environmental, and spiritual activist church), he knew that bad things happened to good people who try to change the world. But this disease is personal, between him and God you might say. So he had to discover for himself why God allowed this to happen to him and to the other very good people he met with various traumatic illnesses in the hospitals and dialysis centers.

Gabriel of Urantia tries to explain how he felt along the path, from the beginning to the receiving of his new kidney from his 22-year-old daughter and gaining the hope and health to continue not only his spiritual work, but his work as a musician, guitar player, and singer (in which he was planning a tour around the country with his 11-piece Bright & Morning Star Band), while now taking immunosuppressant drugs to keep him alive. He had all the fears that a new transplant patient has. How long will the kidney last? What other affects do these drugs have on my body?



He writes about his experience with the medical world, the services he experienced from both very qualified people and those not so qualified (experienced and inexperienced care givers), as well as the bureaucracy of the medical field and insurance companies (both private and governmental). He realized that often in the medical field, the right hand didn't know what the left hand was doing and the patient suffered the results.



Beyond that, Gabriel of Urantia tries to give hope to people with life-threatening illnesses by sharing his faith in the Creator to all who may read his book. A must-read for anyone on dialysis or with any life-threatening illness, from a writer who went through this and can identify with what they are going through and give them hope through this trauma in their lives.